Lavender Lime Poppy Seed Cookies

I sing. A lot.

Not only real songs, because believe me, Beyonce (Bey) is all up in my stereo when I come home from work, but also songs about the dishes. Lawnmowers waking me up. I am a self-induced Broadway musical.

I sing about taking left-hand turns, rye bread, blisters and what’s for dinner. I make up jingles for having to do the laundry. I doo-wop about shampoo. I serenade my plants. I get super diva-like and wave my hand as if I’m scrubbing the windows. Jazz hands.

Sometimes I have backup singers. I used to live with a chorus of ladies with the same habit. We’d harmonize. Don’t be jealous.

It might be annoying. It might be cute? It’s mostly weird.

What I’m trying to say is that I totally coaxed these cookies into tasting like flowers and citrus by singing to them. They probably would’ve come out burnt if not for my sweet lullaby. F’reals.

Dried lavender is available at most natural food and specialty grocery stores. Super cheap if you only need a few teaspoons. I got about a quarter of a cup for 80¢.

Woo woo doo bee, grindin’ up some lavender with lime zest, whoa whoa whoa. Woo. Boop.

Sound bites would help. The lavender-lime song is one of my top 10 greatest hits of all time.

The smell coming out of this concoction is ridiculous. Shove your nose in it. Sing about it.

These cookies come out a little gree-oohhwwaa–een.

Never iced before? It’s easy. Stuff the icing into the corner of a plastic bag. Twist to get all of the air bubbles out and make the bag as tight as possible. Snip a tiny hole in the corner. Squeeze a few practice rounds.

And don’t worry about making perfect lines. If you mess up, you’ll just end up making CareBear poo. And that’s okay, too.

Lime icing drizzle. Yeah. Oh yeah.

Lavender Lime Poppy Seed Cookies.

For the cookies:
2 teaspoons dried lavender
2 teaspoons lime zest
1 tablespoon poppy seeds
2/3 cup sugar
1/2 cup unsalted butter, softened to room temperature
1 egg
1 1/4 cup all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon salt

For the icing:
1 cup confectioner’s sugar, sifted
2 tablespoons fresh-squeezed lime juice

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper or baking mat (like Silpat).

In a coffee grinder or food processor, pulse together lime zest and lavender until fully ground. Set aside.

In a large bowl, beat together sugar and butter until fluffy. Add egg and lavender/lime powder and mix until smooth.

In a medium bowl, whisk the flour, baking soda and salt. Slowly add to the wet ingredients until a firm ball forms. Beat in the poppy seeds until evenly distributed.

Spoon the dough into heaping teaspoons on prepared baking sheet, setting each dollop about 1-2 inches apart.

Bake for about 12 minutes, until the edges just barely begin to brown. Once out of the oven, leave the cookies on the baking sheet for another minute before placing them on a cooling rack.

After about 30 minutes, ice the cookies. Let set for another 20 minutes.

Makes about 12 cookies.

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Coconut Chocolate Chip Oatmeal Cookies

Boy, is that a mouthful. They’re worth the tongue-twister. Every syllable counts.

In preparation for the three-day-weekend withdrawals that will surely hit by 8:30am tomorrow, I propose that every Sunday/Monday evening following three days of adventure be capped with (in no particular order) wine, spaghetti, ice cream and cookies.

You might want to eat the cookies before your mom/spouse/roommate/friend/dog does. Because they will. And they won’t regret it.

Absolutely nothing is wrong with this picture.

Don’t grease the pan. These bad boys already have coconut oil and  butter. Innately greased.

I was supposed to paint my nails. But I ate cookies instead.

Long weekends should also be topped off with numerous television episodes. Watched in bed. With pajamas.

Coconut Chocolate Chip Oatmeal Cookies.

3/4 cup whole wheat flour
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/4 cup unsalted butter, room temperature
1/4 cup coconut oil, room temperature
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
2/3 cup packed brown sugar
1 cup old fashioned oats
1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips

Preheat the oven to 325 degrees Fahrenheit.

In a medium bowl, whisk the flour, baking soda, salt and cinnamon. In a separate bowl, beat the butter, coconut oil, vanilla extract, brown sugar and egg until fluffy. Add the dry ingredients and mix until creamy. Fold in the oats and chocolate chips.

Distribute batter in spoonfuls on a baking sheet. Bake for 15 minutes.

Makes 12 cookies.

Chocolate Chip Oatmeal Cookies

I’ve been re-watching Friends.  Last night’s was “The One with the German Laundry Detergent,” where Ross and Rachel go on their first pseudo-date at the laundromat.  He’s teaching her to separate her lights, darks, delicates, and I say, “Huh, I never do that.”

Really?” inquires my roommate.

Um, guys.  I don’t separate my laundry.  It’s not that I don’t know how to.  I just don’t.  I might be lazy.

But there are things that I do separate.  Like shampoo and conditioner.  Two-in-one stuff SUCKS.  Especially that three-in-one stuff.  What is that?

I also separately mix wet and dry ingredients.  Butter just does NOT mix well with flour unless it’s already been mixed with eggs, vanilla, and sugar.  I’m serious.  Don’t even think about throwing all of your cookie ingredients into one bowl.  Yeah, I know, it’ll save on dishes, but your cookie will be junk.

Another word for the wise: NEVER microwave your butter if you’re trying to quickly go from fridge-cold to room temperature.  Your cookie will be a pancake.  This comes from experience.

When it comes to baking, either bread or pastries, mixing properly is the key to success.  Mix too much, pancake central.  Mix too little, dry pockets of flour.  Mix it just right, and Goldilocks has a dozen fluffy chocolate chip oatmeal cookies.

Lick your fingers after rolling these dough balls out.  And eat what’s left in the bowl.

Remember what I said about age and lactose intolerance?  Proceed with caution.

Chocolate Chip Oatmeal Cookies.

3/4 cup whole wheat flour
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon cinnamon

1/2 cup unsalted butter, room temperature
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
2/3 cup firmly pack brown sugar
1 egg

1 cup old fashioned oats
1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips

Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit.

Incorporate the dry ingredients in a medium bowl, just until the cinnamon is nicely dispersed.  IN A SEPARATE LARGE BOWL (I’m watching you), mix the butter, vanilla, brown sugar and egg until creamy (i.e. no butter chunks).

Slowly add the dry ingredients to the wet about half a cup at a time, mixing fully before adding more.  The dough should be fluffy.

Add the oats and chocolate chips and mix until just incorporated.

Arrange spoonfuls on a baking sheet about 2 inches apart.

Bake for about 15 minutes, until the center just barely begins to flatten.  This ensures that the cookie will be slightly crispy on the edges and still soft and gooey on the inside.

Let cool on the baking sheet for about 15 minutes.  Transfer to a cooling rack for final firming stage.

Makes a dozen big cookies.