Shredded Zucchini Calzone

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I’m heavily invested in the idea that I will one day hit the sweet spot. I’ll find the middle ground between walking to the grocery store barefoot and rocking stiletto heels. Something in between picking up furniture off the streets and buying a full-price couch. Just the right amount of this and that.

I’m  Goldilocks.

And this heat wave is just too darn hot.

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But with the middle of the summer comes a cornucopia of squash! So much squash!

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Squash that I want to shred and put into a calzone!

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Kale and zucchini are the sweet spot of this calzone.

That and I have a lot of flippin’ kale to deal with, too.

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I don’t think I can go a week without making dough. I go into withdrawals.

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You think it’s a burrito.

But it’s not a burrito.

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It’s a motherfucking calzone.

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Respect.

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In the flesh.

Shredded Zucchini Calzone.

1 medium zucchini, grated (about 2 cups)
3-4 dinosaur kale stalks, chopped (about 2 cups)
1 garlic clove, minced
1 1/2 cup chopped onions
1/4 cup grated Reggiano cheese
1 large tomato
2 tablespoons olive oil
1 tablespoon cornmeal

For the dough, follow my recipe for Honey Whole Wheat. In the middle of rising, cut the dough in half and shape into rounds. Let them rise for another half hour.

Preheat the oven to 450 degrees Fahrenheit. (I know it’s crazy to think about when it’s so hot out, but it’s worth it. Sort of.)

In a large skillet heat the olive oil. Add the chopped onions and sautee until translucent. Remove from the pan and set aside on a large plate.  With the remaining oil, sautee the kale, garlic and zucchini. Add to the plate of onions and mix in Reggiano cheese.

Chop the tomato in half and squeeze to release the water and all of the seeds. Chop coarsely. In a medium bowl, season the tomato generously with salt and pepper. Add to the other vegetables.

Using a bread roller, roll out the dough into small circles. Evenly divvy up the vegetables on each round, keeping all of the ingredients in the center.

Wrap in any shape you want. I used a fork to close the seams because I was nervous they would explode and ooze in the oven.

Brush the top with olive oil for a nice crispy crust.

Cover a large pizza stone or baking sheet with cornmeal to prevent sticking. Place the calzones on the sheet/stone and bake for about 15-20 minutes, until the top is nice and golden.

Makes two fat calzones for two hungry gals.

Deep Dish Pizza with Sweet Potato Sauce

Sweet tea and 70 degrees. Shorts. Sunshine for the seedlings. Listening to Ira Glass get super mad.

Dinner parties and St. Patrick’s Day recovery.

And best of all, sitting on the porch for the first time in months.

Hello, Spring. I’ve missed you.

I had my first deep dish pizza in Berkeley. It changed my entire pizza-world-view. Long gone are the days of thin crust. Welcome to the time of sweet corn.

I never liked tomato sauce. Sage and sweet potato have replaced the red stuff for this pizza. It’s not weird. It’s still a pizza.

Two pieces are better than one.

Deep Dish Pizza with Sweet Potato Sauce

Dough recipe

For the pizza:

1 large sweet potato
1 tablespoon milk
Bunch of sage, coarsely chopped
1 small onion, sliced
1 zucchini, sliced
1 cup frozen sweet corn, thawed
1 cup mozarella cheese, shredded
1/4 cup parmesan cheese, grated

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees Fahrenheit.

Prepare the dough by rolling it out and placing in a 9-inch pie dish. Fill with dried beans and bake for about 10 minutes. This is called “blind” baking, which will prevent the heavy pizza filling from weighing down the crust.

Stab the sweet potato with a fork and microwave for about 10 minutes, or until very soft. Let cool slightly and peel the skin off. Add the milk and mash until smooth.

Sauté the onions and sage in butter until the onion is just turning translucent.

Add the onions and sage to the sweet potato along with the sweet corn. Mix until evenly distributed.

Line the bottom of the pie crust with the mozzarella cheese. Scoop in the sweet potato mixture and spread evenly. Top with sliced zucchini and sprinkle with parmesan cheese.

Bake uncovered for about 15-20 minutes, until the cheese is fully melted and zucchini is slightly browned.

Makes 6 massive slices. Should feed three people.

Zucchini Quiche

I have Shopper’s Block.

Even when that pair of shoes or that stack of books or that “Purchase Now” button is glaring at me to click it, I still haven’t made so much as a scratch in this year’s Christmas shopping list.

Maybe it’s because I don’t like measuring my friends and family and placing that into a box with a bow.  Maybe it’s because I believe that gifts should be given year-round.

My hesitation comes from the thought that the best Christmas gift is a phone call.  It’s a rousing rendition of Carol of the Bells sung a cappella in the voice of Beaker.  It’s a red solo cup filled with egg nog.  It’s waking up to the sounds of brewing coffee and whisking eggs.

And those whisked eggs going into this quiche.

Also, moms on shopping sprees are crazy and should be avoided.  They cut in line.  And steal the last bottle of lotion.

You could buy pastry dough or even a pre-made pie crust for this quiche.  But…making pastry dough is stupid easy.

And when you make your own dough you can make a personal-sized quiche!

Gruyere cheese and zucchini are layered with sautéed onions.  It’s wild.

Listen, let me be brutally honest.  I baked this in a toaster oven.  I didn’t want to heat up an entire oven for one little quiche.  You can do it, too.  No shame.

Zucchini Quiche.

For the crust:

1/3 cup whole wheat flour
2 tablespoons cold butter, coarsely chopped
1 tablespoon cold water
1/4 teaspoon salt

For the filling:
1 large egg
2 tablespoons milk or cream
1/2 a zucchini, sliced thin
1 tablespoon chopped onion
1/4 cup Gruyere cheese
dash of paprika

Preheat the toaster oven (gasp!) to 375 degrees Fahrenheit.  Make sure it’s set to “Bake!”

To make the dough, cut the butter into the flour until the butter chunks are no larger than a pea.  Add the water and salt and mix by hand until a ball forms.  Press uniformly into a ramekin (mine is 4 inches) and let set in the freezer while you make the filling.

Saute the onion in a small pan with olive oil until translucent.

In a small bowl, whisk together the milk, eggs, and paprika until slightly bubbly.

Once the onions are done, take out the dough and layer with zucchini, onion, and cheese, in no particular order.

Bake for about 45 minutes or until the top is golden brown.

Serves one.